In my youth and early adult life I learned many lessons and made many mistakes. Like many others, many of those mistakes were in my dating life. I didn't necessarily always make mistakes in who I dated but at the time I didn't put God first and pretty much put me first. Through that, I was much less than honorable toward the fairer sex. I also didn't always make great choices in who I dated. I was just dating. What a train wreck.
For years I went through life leaving a trail of disaster in relationships, leaving hurt feelings, regret and resentment in my wake. I probably owe more apologies than I can remember. About 20 years ago I met a young lady that inspired change in me. In short, I fell in love and became a better person for doing so. While at the time I still didn't know God was involved, I know today that through true love He was guiding me to be honorable because I had found something that I truly cherished. I found something that was more important to me than my own selfish agenda. I grew to love her more than I knew you could love, dangerously walking the thin line of idolization. I married her and we started a family. Today I have put God in front of everything and my marriage and life flourish for doing so.
A little over 17 years ago we had our first child, a beautiful a baby girl that would grow up to be a beautiful young lady. A blessing for me and my wife and a nightmare at the same time because the sea is full of self centered jerks like I used to be. Four years later we had another child. Wouldn't you know it another girl, also beautiful and also a blessing. Load the shotgun Babe, the savages are circling the covered wagon. Two girls and both of them pretty as a peach.
A little over 5 years ago my wife was pregnant with our third child and I was sweating bullets, which is a good thing because I needed them. This time we were blessed with a son. I realized at this time I had an obligation to raise him to be something that I wasn't. I pray for God to be at the forefront of all he does and that when he does start dating he will be honorable, kind, considerate and take pride in being as such.
Obviously I want my daughters to be honorable as well but I'm equally if not more concerned with who they date. This is where my expectations and my message come into play. I'm not naive and fellows I know who you are and what you are. Here is what expect if you are to hold my girls hearts. You are to honor her. I expect you to cherish her. I expect her to be before your selfish agendas. I expect you to love her like I love my wife or leave her alone. If you can't do that, you aren't good enough for her. I'm watching you. Don't tell me how much you love her - show me.
This message isn't just for those young men but for my daughters as well. If a young man isn't loving you to my expectations don't give your heart to them. I won't be honored if you do nor will God. I don't expect this for my happiness. I expect it for yours. And make sure you love him in the same way.
I pray to God you will take this to heart. Just in case, the shotgun will remain loaded.